JOKE TIME

The class is studying astronomy. The teacher points to a photograph, and says,

-Does anybody know what this is? It’s a comet.

- a what?

- a comet, Eddie. Don’t you know what a comet is?

- No.

- Don’t you know what they call a star with a tail?

- Sure. Mickey Mouse.

***

A man in a restaurant said to a stranger sitting at the next table,

• Do you realize that you are reading your newspaper upside down?
• Of course, I realize it. Do you think it’s easy?

***

The psychiatrist was asking questions to test his patient.

• Do you ever hear voices without knowing who is speaking or where the voiced are coming from?
• Yes, sir, I do.
• And when does this occur?
• When I answer the telephone.

***

A doctor had an urgent call

• Can you come immediately, doctor? My little son has just swallowed a fountain pen.
• I’ll be there right away. What are you doing in the meantime?
• Oh, I’m using a pencil.

***

A man bought a parrot that could speak five languages. He paid a thousand dollars for it. The petshop owner said that he would deliver the bird that afternoon. When the proud owner got home, he asked his wife if the parrot had been delivered. She answered,

• Yes, it has.
• Where is it?
• It’s in the oven.
• In the oven? But he could speak five languages!
• Well, then. Why didn’t he speak up?

***

•   Sam, why are you standing in front of the mirror with your eyes closed?
• Well, I want to see what I look like when I’m asleep.